He thought he saw an Elephant
That practised on a fife:
He looked again, and found it was
A letter from his wife.
``At length I realize,'' he said,
``The bitterness of Life!''

He thought he saw a Buffalo
Upon the chimney-piece:
He looked again, and found it was
His Sister's Husband's Niece.
``Unless you leave this house,'' he said,
``I'll send for the Police!''

He thought he saw a Rattlesnake
That questioned him in Greek:
He looked again, and found it was
The Middle of Next Week.
``The one thing I regret,'' he said,
``Is that it cannot speak!''

He thought he saw a Banker's Clerk
Descending from the 'bus:
He looked again, and found it was
A Hippopotamus.
``If this should stay to dine,'' he said,
``There won't be much for us!''

He thought he saw a Kangaroo
That worked a coffee-mill:
He looked again, and found it was
A Vegetable-Pill.
``Were I to swallow this,'' he said,
``I should be very ill!''

He thought he saw a Coach-and-Four
That stood beside his bed:
He looked again, and found it was
A Bear without a Head.
``Poor thing,'' he said, ``poor silly thing!
It's waiting to be fed!''

He thought he saw an Albatross
That fluttered round the lamp:
He looked again, and found it was
A Penny-Postage-Stamp.
``You'd best be getting home,'' he said,
``The nights are very damp!''

He thought he saw a Garden-Door
That opened with a key:
He looked again, and found it was
A Double Rule of Three:
``And all its mystery,'' he said,
``Is clear as day to me!''

He thought he saw an Argument
That proved he was the Pope:
He looked again, and found it was
A Bar of Mottled Soap.
``A fact so dread,'' he faintly said,
``Extinguishes all hope!''